


In the End, We're All in the Same Boat

by PodgeAudge



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, F/M, Forbidden Romance, OkiKagu - Freeform, kagura/okita - Freeform, kugura x okita
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PodgeAudge/pseuds/PodgeAudge
Summary: "'Are you really gonna let yourself die like this?' He said. She shook her head, because even if the cold stripped away everything, the pride and determination in her heart would always remain as a small, warm coal in her heart."Okikagu Titanic Au.





	In the End, We're All in the Same Boat

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know, just go with it.

Kagura ran across the long wooden floors of the ship’s deck. She couldn’t take it anymore. The cold wind pulled her red hair from their uncomfortable pins and bobs and flared around her face wild and free, for the last and only time. She only stopped when she met the railing separating her from the ocean, folding over it and meeting face to face with the inky, black water some hundreds of feet below. She gingerly wrapped her fingers around the cold metal of the bars and hoisted herself up and over. Her feet found slippery purchase on the very edge of the deck, damn heeled shoes, and she gripped the bars now behind her. Now she was completely exposed to the elements; facing the darkness of the night, braving the cold wind tugging at the ends of her dress, as if beckoning her toward the deep.

“What are you doing?” a voice drawled behind her. She whipped around.

A boy with sandy colored hair and brown eyes stood there looking bored of all things. Like he’d rather be elsewhere. She didn’t even hear him approach.

“Stay back!” She yelled. “Don’t come any closer.” How could someone have found her? Even in death someone was always around to catch and scold her.

“Quite the accent you have there. Chinese?”

“I said stay back!” She repeated. The boy behind her rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, don’t do anything stupid. Just gimme your hand and i’ll pull you back over.” He extended his hand listlessly.

“No, stay where you are!” She yelled again. He sighed, like she was a petulant child refusing her vegetables. He ignored her demands and sauntered over to her, peering over the ledge himself with disinterest. _The nerve!_ “I mean it!” She challenged. “I’ll let go!” He shot her a look, obviously not impressed.

“No you won’t.” She felt her anger spike immediately.

“What do you mean ‘no I won’t?’” she screeched. “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do! You don’t know me!” He didn’t react to her yelling, just folded his arms over the rail and lifted a fair brow.

“You would’ve done it already.” More fury boiled up inside her. She was thinking about doing it, jumping, just to prove him wrong.

“You’re distracting me,” she ground out. “Go away.” The boy shrugged.

“Can’t,” He said. “I’m involved now. You let go, and I’m gonna have to jump in there after you.” He began to shed his ratty, tweed jacket.

“Don’t be a moron,” she said. “You’ll be killed.”

“I’m a good swimmer,” he answered simply. As if any of this was simple.

“The fall alone would kill you.”

“It would hurt. I’m not saying it wouldn’t.” He began unlacing his shoes. “To tell you the truth I’m a lot more concerned with that water being so cold.” Kagura glanced into the gaping mouth of the ocean bellow her. The boy caught her unsure eyes and smirked. She cursed herself, anger heating her stomach.

“How cold?” she finally ground out.

“Freezing,” he said, still busying himself with his shoes as if they were far more interesting than her. “Maybe a couple degrees over.” She peeked downward again. “Water that cold,” he shot her a look, capturing her eyes, making sure he had her. “Like down there…” his lips spread into a viscous, wide grin. “It hits you like a thousand knives stabbing all over your body. You can’t breathe, you can’t think. At least not about anything but the pain.”

“Why are you smiling? Are you some kind of sadist?”

“But not a masochist. Which is why I’m not looking forward to jumping in there after you.” He heaved one last, great big sigh. “I guess I don’t have a choice if you want to be an idiot. But It’d be great if you came over the rail and got me off the hook here.” She couldn’t believe his audacity. Like saving someone’s life was a chore he’d rather not do! She glared at him but he stared right back at her with as much interest as he would a bug crawling on the floor. Her stomach was a fiery pit by then.

“You’re” crazy,” she growled.

“I’m not the one hanging off the back of a ship here,” he answered back.

That gave her pause.

“C’mon,” he drawled. “Give me your hand. Let’s not make this harder than it needs to be.” And despite it all, she felt her hand move without her permission, guided toward his like a ship to a beacon. His long fingers closed over hers, engulfing them in his grip. She gingerly turned, mindful of the thin layer of ice under her heeled shoes. She lifted her foot to step onto a rung but it caught on her dress, tugging her out of balance. In the blink of an eye, she plummeted. Then she was jerked to a stop. The boy’s hand still gripped hers tight and he was bent over the railing looking down at her.

“Damn it!” he cursed, his brows knitted together. He began to pull. “Jeez, you’re heavy! Mind helping me out a little here?”

“Damn you!” she screamed in fury and fear at him. How dare he crack a joke now?

“Pull yourself up!” Then his lips spread into a condescending smirk. “Or are you to weak?” So just to spite him, she gripped his hand and pulled with all her might, nearly popping his arm out of its socket. She hauled herself over the railing and the boy wrapped his arms around her waist like a vice. They fell back in a heap on the deck.

When she gathered her bearings, she found he was on top of her, their faces inches apart. She looked into his eyes.

They weren’t brown, she realized. They were more burgundy.

Almost red, like roses.

 

* * *

 

 

She screwed her lips into a determined smile, staring out into the horizon.

“Teach me to ride like a man!” her smile widened, secretive and daring. “And spit like a man!” she dared to go further, reveling in her audacity.

“What, they didn’t teach you that in finishing school?” Sogou raised a brow, smirking.

“No.” Kagura pouted.

“Then I’ll show you.” Sogou grabbed her hand and started dragging her over to the edge of the deck. She dug her heels in like an obstinate donkey.

“No! Sogou!” She wouldn’t dare spit in front of Europe’s most elite socialites. Caught in a stalemate, they both glared at each other, neither willing to give in. But his eyes dared her; dared her to do the unthinkable, to break the boundaries. And she couldn’t help but take up the challenge. She let him pull her up to the railing. He let go of her and gripped it tight, squaring himself. He shot her a haughty smirk.

“Watch and learn.” He snorted, breathing in and puffing his chest out, and she could hear all his snot drip into the back of his throat. Then he spit it out, and it launched in a long, gooey arc into the sea.

“That’s disgusting!” Kagura yelled. But her words couldn’t hide the awe and excitement in her voice.

“Your turn,” Sogou said. She took a few peeks over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching and spit a tiny amount of saliva quietly overboard. Sogoue looked unimpressed.

“That was pitiful, China” he said in a flat voice. He shook his head. “Can’t even spit properly. At this rate you’ll never get close to spitting as far as me.” He peeked at her from the corner of his eyes.

Alright, that incensed her.

All manners out the window, she gripped the railing, snorted in as much mucus and saliva as she could, and launched it.

“Hmm…” Sougo made a show of watching it fall, using his thumb like an artist to measure the distance. “Still no good,” he tsked. No way was she going to lose to him. Completely determined now, she sucked in another puddle of snot and promptly choked on it as her brother and some other socialites walked right behind them. They both turned around, and neither group could say anything for a long moment, just staring wide eyed at each other.

“Brother,” Kagura finally said in a sickly sweet voice. She sucked in a breath through her teeth, looking back at Sougo and wondering if she really was going to do this. “This is Sougo Okita.”

The others were gracious and curious about her rescuer. But her brother looked at him like he was an insect. A dangerous insect to be squashed quickly.

“Well Sogou, it sounds like you’re a good man to have around in a sticky spot.” Tae Shimura appraised him. She was what her brother called “new money;" she had the wealth of a blueblood, but not the class. She insisted everyone refer to her as Otae.

A servant came out and pipped into his trumpet, blowing out short bursts of loud melody. Otae rolled her eyes.

“Why do they always insist on announcing dinner like it’s a damn cavalry charge?” Kagura couldn’t help but snort. She covered it up with her hands quickly to hide it. Everyone looked at her. She coughed.

“Shall we go dress, brother?” she quickly hooked his arm in hers and steered him away from the group. “See you at dinner, Sogou,” she said over her shoulder quickly, trying to get out of there as fast as possible before her brother could interrogate him further.

Sougo watched her go, his eyes following Kagura down the deck, watchful like a hawk.

“Ah, son,” Otae tried to catch his attention, but his eyes were still latched on to Kagura.

“Son!” She tried again, and he snapped back into reality, shaking his head to clear it. He didn’t realize what he was doing. Otae crossed her arms and stuck her hip out. “Do you have the slightest idea what you’re doing?” she said. Sougo smiled, deviously.

“Not really.” That was half the fun.

“Well, you're about to go into the snake pit.” To Otae’s amazement he looked even more excited about the prospect. She sighed, defeated. “What are you planning to wear?” Sogou just shrugged and motioned to his current clothes: scuffed up shoes, torn overalls and an old, paint dotted shirt. She scoffed at him, and he was going to point out that she was barely fitting in with the upper crusts herself, until she tugged at his sleeve and pulled him along with her.

 

* * *

 

 

After dinner, the men got up to leave, heading for the parlor for a smoke and whiskey.

“Goodnight, Kagura.” She looked up to see Sougo standing over her, all tall and handsome in his borrowed suit.

He took her hand and she felt a piece of paper slip into her palm. Then he brought it up to his lips and lightly kissed her knuckles, smirking at her reddening face. She watched him go, admiring how the suit fit around his broad back. Then, looking discreetly around to make sure no interloper was watching her, she unfolded the piece of paper. written in a quick, boyish script she read,

_Make it count, idiot. Meet me at the clock._

She’d never pass up a challenge from him.

So when she stepped up the stairs to the clock, he flashed her a devious smile.

“So, do you want to go to a real party?”

Suddenly she was a loud room in the bowels of the ship. A sheet of smoke hung thick in the air like a fog. A man pounded on a drum, while another breathed into a bagpipe, and a woman played a violin. People whooped and hollered, stomping and clapping to the music. Couples held each other closely and skipped around the room, twirling in a jig. All around her a cacophony of different languages melded into one warm din. She found herself sitting among this revelry at one of the small beer tables. She gulped a pint of beer, a real, tall glass of it, and watched as a man twirled a little girl around on the dancing floor. Nearby this sweet little scene a drunkard toppled into a table, making a huge clatter, and she couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity and juxtaposition of it all.

Here, nothing was scripted, nothing perfectly performed. Here, anything could happen.

The song ended, and Sogou came over, jacket discarded, collar out and sleeves rolled past his elbows. He dropped two pints of beer on the table. Good. More for her. And she was just getting started. She took another drink from her glass when a hand was shoved in front of her face. Sogou was waiting for her.

“C’mon,” he said.

“What?” was all she could choke out, slack jawed like a buffoon.

“Let’s dance,” he clarified, impatient.

_Dance, like this?_

When he saw her struggling in indecision, his face dissolved into a sadistic grin.

“Or are you too scared?”

That had her up on her feet in no time. She positioned herself in front of him, a few steps away, just like a waltz, but Sogou rolled his eyes.

“We’re going to have to get a little closer.” He yanked her forward and pressed his hand into the small of her back, pulling her into his chest. Then, they were joining in on the dance, slowly at first, and then suddenly the world was spinning as he took her around the room in a dizzying circle. She couldn't help but cry out in an odd mix of fear, exhilaration and joy and she never felt more free in her life. The music got faster and faster.

Sougo pulled her up on a table let her go. Then he was stomping out a rhythm in his fine black shoes, scuffing them against the wood. He finished with a little kick and gave her a triumphant, condescending look. So she ripped her shoes off her feet and threw them aside. One sole clocked a man in the head and he went sprawling to the ground. Then she was copying his stomping, and for added flair, twirled around a few times. She raised her chin at him. _H_ _ow was that?_ He grinned that feral grin but it wasn’t unkind. He seemed thrilled for the challenge. He stomped out a more impressive, intricate dance and she responded in kind. It went on like this for a few more turns before they both couldn’t do anymore and he locked his elbow with hers and they were spinning again.

When the dance was over, they watched a group of men surrounding a table shouting incoherently. Two others arm wrestled, their faces red, veins popping out of their foreheads from the strain. Sogou reached around and plucked their beers from the table. He passed one to her, and she tipped it back and gulped it down. She spied him watching her.

“What?” she said. “You think a first class girl can’t drink?” His lips spread into a grin and she thought she would do anything to make him grin like that again.

One of the arm wrestling men pushed his opponents arm down, spilling bottles of beer and sending them crashing to the floor, splashing the golden liquid everywhere. The men around them roared and cheered. Kagura sauntered up to them and placed her drink between them.

“So,” She plucked the cigarette right from one of the men’s lips. “You think you’re big tough men?” She placed it in her mouth, her lipstick staining the paper, and took a drag. She popped the cigarette back between the man’s lips as he stared at her rapt amazement. “Let’s see you do this!” She backed up and grabbed the annoying train of her dress. “Hold this,” she told Sogou, and he only did as she said because he wanted to see what she would do next. She put her hands out in front of her and slowly raised herself up to the balls of her feet. Everyone watched closely. She popped up on her toes, balancing right on them, and held out for as long as she could. Then she toppled over. Her ballet instructor would be ashamed of her, but she felt more accomplished than she ever did winning her stupid dancing awards. She felt like she won a million dollars. Another song started and she shot right up, grabbing Sogou’s hand and pulling him along back into the fray. They danced the night away.

 

* * *

 

 

Suddenly something grabbed her shoulder and yanked her through a door. She let out an ungraceful squawk which thankfully, no one heard. The door slammed shut behind her. Then her back was pressed against a wall and Sougo was standing right in front of her, pinning her with his red eyes. She glared up at him.

“I can’t see you, anymore,” she said curtly, and she tried to shove her way out but he caged her with his arms.

“I need to talk to you.” Suddenly all the humor was gone from his face; there was no superior smile, no jibes or challenges. And it frightened her.

“I’m engaged.” She said it plainly. They couldn’t deny their attraction any longer. And they couldn’t pretend that it was harmless. Sogou leveled her with an unimpressed gaze.

“Look. You’re no picnic, China. You’re a spoiled, loud, gluttonous, violent brat.” Kagura flung her fist at him, but he deftly caught it. “But underthat, _somehow,_ ” he added grudgingly, “You’re the strongest, fiercest, most amazing girl I’ve ever met.” Kagura might have been used to taking punches, but compliments? She tried to leave again. “Let me finish!” he snapped. He took his time to gather his thoughts and he seemed flustered for the first time. “I’m too involved now. If you jump, I jump, remember? I can’t turn away without knowing you’ll be alright.”

“I’ll be just fine!” she yelled. He just quirked a brow, incensing her more.

“Really?” And she could only glower at him, seething in rage because he was right and he knew it. “They’ve got you trapped. And sooner or later, that fire,” he lifted a hand from the wall to bring it up to her face, but paused just inches from her skin. For a moment he watched her with half-lidded eyes. Then his fingers gently ghosted over her cheek. “That fire, is gonna burn out.”

She was speechless for a moment. She swallowed once, twice. He didn’t break eye contact, but she wanted to squirm out of his grip.

“It’s not up to you to save me,” she finally said.

“You’re right.” And then he added, “Only you can do that.”

But she couldn't selfishly take his challenge. Not this time. Not if it meant hurting her family.

“I’m going back.” She untangled herself from him and shoved him away. “Leave me alone.”

 

* * *

 

 

She found him looking out at the horizon at the stern of the ship. He was tall and dark against the bright orange sky, his sandy hair lit gold by the sun and brushing over his forehead. She crossed her arms over her chest.

“I changed my mind,” she mumbled, pouting. She braved a few steps closer to him. “They said you might want-”

“-Shut up and give me your hand.” he said, turning around. She stared at his outstretched palm dumbly. “Well?” He shook out his extended hand, impatient. And she took it. His long, tapered fingers closed over hers and he gently pulled her toward him. “Close your eyes,” he ordered.

“I hope you’re not trying to feel me up, creep. A beautiful maiden like myself can’t be too careful.”

“Like anyone would want to-”

“You bast-”

“Just shut up and do as I say,” he said as he guided her up onto his perch. “Put out your arms.” He grabbed each ligament roughly and pulled them up to the air until she was holding them out on either side of her. “Step up.” He grabbed her waist and lifted her onto the bars. She wobbled a little bit, but his warm fingers on the small of her back balanced her, deftly catching her every movement so she wouldn’t even come close to falling. “Do you trust me?” he whispered, his warm breath ghosting over the shell of her ear.

“As far as-”

“-Don’t answer that,” he cut her off. “Just open your eyes.”

And she did.

She didn’t see the length of the ship, but the ocean, stretching long and wide to the horizon. And she felt it wasn’t a 53,000 ton hunk of metal carrying her, but the winds lifting over the water. She watched the sunlight catch the lips of the waves, dancing over the water. God, how many times had she imagined this? As a little girl, she would stare out her window and dream she grew wings. In the sky, she could go anywhere she pleased. There would be no rules. And this was the closest she had ever come to that dream.

Sougo drew her arms to her chest and stepped close behind her, watching her enjoy the view. But then he tilted his head toward her, and the everything changed.

He brushed his nose against the side of hers, his lips dangerously close to her own. He paused there for a moment, just looking at her, soaking in the heat and the tension. Then he pressed his lips to hers. It was tentative and chaste. She totally expected a full on tongue and moaning and groping thing. But it was simple and sweet. He sucked lightly on her bottom lip as he pulled away. When he opened his eyes, and the first thing he said was,

“I can’t even describe how ridiculous you looked flailing your arms out like an insane person up there.”

She smacked him upside the head for that one.

 

* * *

 

 

“Kagura, get into the boat.” Her brother seethed.

She leveled him with a long gaze. She’d made up her mind already, but she wanted to commit the look on his face to memory.

“Goodbye brother.” She turned on her heel and walked away. But Tendou caught her by the shoulder and whipped her around.

“Where are you going?!” He shook her. “To him?! You want to be a whore to a gutter rat?!” Kagura curled her lips in disgust.

“I’d rather be his whore than your wife!” She turned around but he caught her arms and yanked her back. She struggled in his grip, and he could barely keep a hold on her. But he wouldn’t let go, so she yanked him close, sucked in a breath, and spit right into his eye. He cried out and released her, and she ran in the other direction, ignoring her brother’s calls for her to stop.

Meanwhile, in the lowest decks, the frigid sea water spilled up the stairs and into the halls. Not a soul remained there, save for one, handcuffed to a pipe, and Kagura was going to save him.

“Mr. Ryuuzan!” she called, tearing down the hallways. Where was he? He could have been anywhere on the monstrous ship. Then caught sight of him and skidded down the carpet, turning quickly and barreling toward him. “Thank God,” she breathed, gripping onto the lapels of his coat. “Where would the Master at Arms take someone who's under arrest?” She demanded.

“You need to get on a boat!” He said. Gone was the proud inventor so sure his machine could never break.

“No!” she yelled, then took a breath. “I’m doing this with or without you. But without you, it will take longer.”

He looked at her a short while, contemplating, but after realizing he hand no choice, he pulled her close and said in fevered whispers,

“Take the elevators to the very bottom. Go to the left, down the crewmans’ passage, then go right, and left again at the stairs. You’ll come to a long corridor.”

“Thank you,” she said breathlessly, and took off again, leaving him behind. She shoved people away from her path, not even bothering to say excuse me. Manners didn’t matter anymore. She reached the elevator, but a servant blocked her path.

“I’m sorry, miss, but the lifts are closed.” he said with the impatience and apathy of a man who’d said that hundreds of times already to a hundred stuffy rich folk. She gazed at him, disbelieving, and then grabbed his collar.

“I’m through being polite, goddammit!” She heaved him over the threshold and shoved him against the back wall of the lift. “Now take me down!” She watched the fear of God flash through his eyes and he did as she said, grabbing the lever and pushing it down. She watched the floors rise up through the gate as they descended. But as they neared the bottom floor, water rushed into the lift, soaking the plush carpet. They both cried out as they were pushed back against the wall by the force of the current. The servant reached for the lever to pull them back up, but she shoved him away, yanking the gate open and stepping through.

“I’m going back up!” the servant cried, panicked, but she didn’t even register his voice. She waded through the water, intent to get to her destination.

The water slowed her steps, her stupid dress dragging behind her like a dead weight and she tossed floating chairs and tables out of her way in frustration. It seemed like the universe was against her finding Sougo. She walked down the corridor and came to a crossroads. She looked left and right, and saw no living soul, only water.

“Sadist!” She called, but got no answer. Tired of waiting and needing to make some progress, Kagura began walking down the left corridor. The lights hanging off the walls beside her flickered and darkened, plunging her into darkness. Thankfully, they lit up again, and she could see her path. For now.

“Sadist!” She called and called.

“China!” she heard faintly. She stopped and listened.

“China, I’m in here!”

She backtracked, sloshing through the water and followed his voice. She found the room he was held in and opened the door to find him handcuffed around a pipe, knee deep in water.

“I’m sorry!” she blurted out, making her way toward him. “I’m so sorry!” She smashed her lips against his, clacking their teeth together in a rough, crude kiss, but neither cared.

“He put it in my pocket, you moron!” he explained.

“I know, I know!” She hid her face in his shoulder.

“Listen, China, you’re gonna have to find a spare key!”

She waded toward a cabinet and flung the doors and drawers open, tossing knick knacks and other useless junk away. They sank into the water with hard _plunks_. When she couldn’t find any keys there, she turned around and ripped another drawer from it’s dresser, rifling through its contents.

“Kagura,” she heard him call. She had never heard her real name on his lips before, so she had to stop everything and look at him. “How’d you find out it wasn’t me?” he asked.

“I didn’t. I just realized I already knew.”

“You dumbass!” he admonished her, but he was grinning despite himself. “Keep looking!”

Outside, the stern of the ship dipped into the ocean.

“There’s no key!” Kagura screamed, chucking another drawer into the water.

“Listen,” Sogou said. “Go find some help.” At her indecisive look he added, “Don’t underestimate me. I’ll be fine.” So she turned around and left him in the room that was slowly but surely filling up with water.

When she exited into the hallways, the water had reached half way up the walls. There was no way anyone was down either passage, so she took the stairs, calling for help. She raced through the maze like corridors, dizzying herself with the sharp turns.

“We need help!” she cried. No one answered. She could hear the water sloshing around the deck below, rising. “Damn it!” she cursed. She picked a random hallway and raced down it, screaming for help. Then an attendant rounded the corner, half running and harried. Once he spotted her, he grabbed her hand and pulled her away.

“You shouldn’t be here miss!” he said.

“Wait! I need your help!” she tried to explain. “There’s a man down there and he’s trapped-”

“It’s alright, there’s no need to panic miss!” he pulled her along.

“I’m not panicking! You’re going the wrong way!” she cried, looking over her shoulder at the rising water, where Sogou still remained. She began to work her hand out of his grip. “Let go of me!” but the man continued to babble on in anxiety. “Listen!” she screeched and when he turned, she reeled back her fist and popped him in the nose.

He stumbled back, clutching his bleeding face, the red dropping into the seawater sloshing around their feet. He drew away his hand, looked at the blood covering his skin, then at her in disbelief.

“To hell with you,” he said, and then he scrambled up the stairs, and she was alone.

She dropped her shoulders and looked back the way she came. The water was even higher. She pulled at her hair and slouched against a wall.

What was she going to do?

But then, as if the stars were on her side, right across from her, she noticed an emergency axe, and she grinned devilishly. She punched through the glass, not caring about cutting herself, and retrieved the weapon. She tore through the halls back the way she came, but when she got to the stairs, only deep water greeted her. She stared into its depths, unsure.

“Oh my God,” she said. But there was no avoiding it. She plunged in.

It was freezing, and she yelped at the shock against her skin. Sogou was right; it did feel like a thousand knives jabbing into her skin. But she blocked out the pain. There were more important things at the moment. She reached up and used the pipes running along the ceiling to keep her aloft in the hall, now almost completely submerged. Beside her, electric lights sizzled and popped, and the walls groaned. She turned into the room again.

“Sadist!” she called. “Will this work?” she lifted the axe. For a brief moment his eyes lit with pride and amusement.

“I guess we’ll find out,” he answered with a wicked grin.

 

* * *

 

 

“Women and children only!” a sailor hollered over and over again.

Sogou held her firm as they were jostled by dozens of frenzied bodies. She watched a little girl being carried away from her father and tossed into the boat. The father assured her there were boats for the men as well, but Kagura knew full well it was a lie. She was now faced with the very real prospect of Sogou dying while she lived. She turned to him.

“I can’t go without you!” she cried. Sogou shook her.

“Don’t be stupid. Go!”

“No,” she argued pathetically.

“Get in the boat, China,” he demanded.

“No, Sogou,”

“Yes, you idiot!”

“Yes, get on the boat, Kagura.” Out of nowhere, Kandou stepped between them, thin and lean. His perfectly coiffed hair was in disarray and his bow was crooked. If she looked closer, she could see real fear in his eyes. Not even he was above a watery grave. Still, he lifted his jacket and pushed it over her shoulders.

“Go on,” Sougo said, ignoring Kandou, “I’ll get the next one.” She reached toward him.

“No,” she repeated. “Not without you.”

“Didn’t I tell you not to underestimate me? I’m a survivor! Get that through your thick skull.” She raised her fist to punch him when Kandou stepped in again.

“I have an arrangement with an officer on the other side of the ship. Sougo and I can get off safely." His eyes flicked toward the other man. “Both of us.”

“See?” Sougo assured her. “I’ve got my own boat to catch. Now don’t slow me down! Go on!”

So Kagura let herself be herded toward the waiting lifeboat. She looked into Kandou’s eyes, searching for something, anything, that might implicate a lie, but an officer grabbed her and dumped her on the boat with forty or so other women and screaming children. Before she sat down, she turned around, wanting to grasp Sougo's hand one last time. He must have been thinking the same thing, because his was already outstretched toward her. They locked their fingers together for the briefest, sweetest of moments before a sailor shoved him away, breaking their connection.

“Lower away!”

With a jostle, the boat began to descend. She stared into Sougo’s eyes, wanting to memorize everything about him; his brow, the shape of his nose, the set of his eyes.

Above her, the two men stood side by side.

“You’re a good liar,” Kandou sneered.

“Almost as good as you.” Sougo bit out.

“There is no arrangement, is there?” He ventured to hope the man was just as doomed as he was.

“Oh, there’s an arrangement. Not that you’ll benefit much from it.” His grin widened. “I always win, Sougo,” he said. “One way or another.”

And yet Sougo, a man who let his ambition drive him, who _hated_ losing, couldn’t bring himself to care. He looked down at Kagura, her eyes still locked on his, and maybe, he realized, that he did win. That he won her survival on his own. It was a comforting though for his last hours.

Kagura could see it in his eyes. He was pretending to look strong, to look unfazed by all this. But his eyes were saying _this was it_. That he was saying goodbye. An emergency flare shot upwards, lighting up the sky. Streaks of gold trailed behind him, lighting his hair silver, and his eyes sparkled red. She couldn't bare to never see him again.

So she got up, gripped the railing of the next deck down, and hoisted herself over it, ignoring Sougo’s yells of protest. She stumbled and ran across the deck. Sogou turned around and ran as well. Both pushed past fleeing people, scrambling to get to the other.

Of course, they met each other by the clock; the night was full of cruel ironies. Sougo descended the stairs and Kagura launched herself into his arms. He hoisted her up, locking his arms around her like a vice.

“You stupid girl! You’re so goddamn stupid! Why did you do that?! Are you insane?!” he cried between feverish kisses on her brow, her cheek, her jaw, her lips. “Why did you do that?!”

“You jump, I jump, right?” she parroted his words from when they first met.

 

* * *

 

 

All around them people were running and screaming. Meanwhile, the ass end of the boat was lifting up and up, and people, fearful of the water, climbed upward. Sougo had the same idea.

“We have to stay on the ship as long as possible!” He caught her hand and hauled her up the deck. They ducked around rails, hopped over boxes, and pushed past people, Sougo lifting her up and catching her when he could, ever watchful of her. They landed on the main deck and made a straight run for the end of the boat. Suddenly it was like climbing up a mountain as the incline increased. Sougo pushed his way past frightened people, clearing the way for her to follow. Realizing he could lose her in the crowd at any minute, he pushed her in front of him, caging her from behind with his body.

As they approached a set of stairs, a man in front of them trudged slowly, mumbling a bible verse.

 _“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”_ And if this all wasn’t already real enough for her, it just got more so. Leave it to the bible to make a dour situation even worse.

“You wanna walk a little faster through that valley, there?!” Sougo snapped.

They pushed past him and went on. The boat continued to tilt until the massive propellers lifted out of the water. Sougo tugged her along, hoisting her up the incline, until they reached the very end of the boat.

Nowhere left to run.

He found a grip on the rail and tugged her into his chest, and she more than willingly wrapped her arms around him.

Kagura looked to her left- a woman assuring her boy it would all be over soon- and to her right- a blond girl around her age, alone and frightful. They locked eyes, and between them was a solidarity they never would have shared had none of this happened. She looked up at the sky.

“Sogou,” she said. “This is where we first met.” She couldn’t help but crack a joke, in awe at the sick irony of it all. But he didn’t laugh. He just searched her eyes as if committing them to memory and forcefully kissed her forehead, pulling her tight against him.

Sougo watched people fall down the length of the ship as it tilted upright even more, their bodies hitting rails and walls, then falling boneless into the water. He squeezed Kagura even tighter to himself, even though she had him in a crushing hug already. The boat tilted more. And they began hanging off the rails. Sougo wrapped around her from behind, acting as a net. The lights went completely out, plunging them all into darkness.

Then there was a loud snap, like the pop of a gun. Half way down the deck, the wood was splitting. Boards whipped up, hitting people as they ran, and left holes for others to fall into. Then, the fissure crawled all the way down the sides of the ship.

The Titanic was splitting in half.

With a loud crack the bow broke away from the stern. And then the boat dropped down.

Kagura held on for dear life, feeling her stomach fly up into her throat as they plummeted hundreds of feet down. Sougo dug his nails into her shoulder hard enough to draw blood. The stern of the ship slapped the water, creating massive geysers. But just as soon as the boat settled back into the ocean, it was rising up once again, being pulled down by it’s other half. Sougo looked back, seeing more people falling again.

“Move!” He climbed over the railing, feeling the gravity shift and pull him down as the Titanic floated upright. He grabbed Kagura and helped her climb over with him. He found it darkly ironic that this time, he was coaxing her over the other side of the railing. Was this a cruel joke from God?

Once she was secured and latched on, Sougo settled behind her.

The boat finally reached its apex. For a few seconds, it teetered dangerously back and forth, like a bobbing bathtub toy. More people fell, losing the grips on the railing. The girl Kagura saw earlier, the one her age, was breathing hard. They locked eyes for a split second, and then her hands slipped, and she plummeted into the dark water, screaming all the way down.

The boat began to creak, and suddenly they were descending. Kagura looked down the length of the boat plunging into the frothing water below. There was no escaping the ocean’s cold touch now.

“This is it!” Sougo shouted over the screams.

“Oh god, oh god,” Kaguya couldn’t help but ramble as the water rose up toward them.

“The ship is gonna suck us down. Take a deep breath when I say.” The water was a hundred feet away.

“Kick for the surface and keep kicking. You hear me, China girl?”

Fifty feet away.

Forty feet away.

Thirty feet. 

Twenty.

Ten. 

“NOW!”

She sucked in a deep breath.

 

* * *

 

 

“Sougo!” Kagura screamed. “Sougo!”

Somebody splashed water in her face. She looked around the crowd the flailing bodies, but everywhere she turned there were more people paddling in the water. Her calls were drowned out by the collective screams of the one thousand souls who realized they were all lost in frigid, open water with no hope of rescue.

She had no idea where Sougo was, but she paddled in the first direction she chose. It was better than staying put and doing nothing. A man inches from her face struggled to keep his head above the water; black sea water scooped into his mouth, left open in a silent scream. She kept paddling, but she felt hands over her head push her down under the water. He was using her to keep himself afloat. Despite her considerable strength, in his panic he had her in an iron grip. She thrashed and kicked but he held her down. Her lungs began to ache. With one last heave, she pushed her way up and broke through the water, taking in a lungful of frigid winter air. But just as soon as she sucked in a breath, she was pushed back down again.

Then the weight lifted. A hand grabbed her collar and tugged her up. When she broke through the surface she was in Sougo’s arms, and the man that was using her as a buoy was clasping a bloody nose. He didn’t even give them another glance, and paddled away, moaning in terror.

“Swim, idiot!” he ordered. He grabbed her arm and dragged her with him. They pushed their way through the bodies. A few were motionless, and were merely bobbing heads in the water. They made it a little ways away from the rest of the crowd and found a broken door drifting. Sougo latched onto it like it was his salvation. He reached around her waist and heaved her on top of the door. Her face smacked against the wood and she growled in annoyance. Sougo tried to heave himself over as well, but the door tipped under his weight and they were dumped back into the water.

“Back on!” He demanded, and she was more than willing to comply, crawling on her stomach like an insect until she rested safely on the wood again. She looked back at him but he didn’t try to get up on the door again. She watched his eyes tighten. His knuckles gripped white on the frame of the door. But just as soon as she saw it, the look was gone, replaced by determination. His eyes glowed bright red against the dark.

He came around and met her face to face but did not move onto the door himself. He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her to him until their foreheads bumped together. He fiercely looked into her eyes, not saying a word. He challenged her to break his gaze, to cry out, to be afraid. But she watched him just as intensely as he watched her, more than willing to take up the dare.

A few feet away, a sailor blew weakly through his whistle, creating a pitiful, shrill sound, not unlike the screams surrounding them.

“We’re away from the suction,” Sogou explained. “The boats are coming back.” He said it like a promise, and she believed him, because there was nothing left for her to do. She could only nod and shiver, and watch his lips turn blue against his paling skin. He clenched his teeth together so they wouldn’t dare chatter.

*

Time passed. The voices died down. Bodies grew still. Only a few wails could be heard in the distance, carried off by the arctic wind. Frost had crystallized in their hair.

“I-I intend to do an assortment of h-horrible things to the white star line for all this.” Sougo said. She could tell he was trying desperately to keep his voice in check, trying not to show he too was freezing, more so than her. She couldn’t answer him. She wasn’t so sure they would live to brutally torture a giant company. Something pure flashed through his eyes at her look. He reached out of the water and viciously tugged her hand into his, breathing small, pitiful breaths onto her fingers in an attempt to warm them. His lips were ice cold against her knuckles.

*

More time passed. Kagura busied herself by tracing the the laurels carved on the door with her fingers, even she couldn't feel them any more. It was strange; it’s beauty was a necessity on the ship, but in the open water, it meant nothing any more.

She watched Sogou press his cheek against the wood, finally succumbing to his shivers. His whole body shook. She hated seeing him finally brought down, by cold water no less.

“I love you,” she whispered. She had to tell him that at least. He lifted his head like it was a three hundred pound weight and glared weakly at her.

“Don’t you do that, China,” he sputtered through shivers. “Don’t you say your goodbyes. Not yet.” He tugged at her hand weakly. “Got that?”

“It’s so cold,” was all she could say in reply. All her smart comebacks were gone, sunken with the ship.

“Listen to me,” he grabbed the nape of her neck. “You’re gonna get out of here. Are you gonna let some cold bring you down? I thought you were stronger than this.” he goaded her. “You’re gonna grow up and have ugly, dumb, red-headed piglets. and you’re gonna watch ‘em grow up into big fat pigs. And you’re gonna die an old, wrinkly lady, shitting in her own diaper.”

She could only stare at him listlessly. He pressed on.

“Are you really gonna let yourself die like this?”

She shook her head, because even if the cold stripped everything, the pride and determination in her heart remained as a small, warm coal in her heart.

“Winning that ticket,” he began, “was the best damn thing that ever happened to me.” he broke out, stopping between shivers. But he forged on. “‘Cause I got to meet the rudest, most disgusting, pigheaded, violent girl I’ve ever met.”

He laughed darkly, though it was more a weak puff of breath. Then he met her eyes. The red color remained bright and vivid, like a fire against the chill.

“And I’m thankful for that.” He let go of her neck and took her hand in his again.

“I dare you,” he said. “I dare you to stay alive. I dare you to never give up. No matter what happens. No matter how damn hopeless-” He clenched his teeth, fighting a violent shiver. He dipped his head, trying to hide his suffering from her. It was a while until he raised it again to look her in the eyes.

“Win.” He said.

He went back to blowing his cold breath on her fingers.

*

Time was a blur, now. She couldn’t tell anything from anything anymore. She couldn’t feel anything. She felt like she was floating in the void with no body, no soul; just a consciousness lost in the endless black.

She was on her back now, staring at the stars; they were like bright holes in the dark sky, she thought. They seemed so far away, like a dream. She watched the trail of the galaxy spread across the black sky like milk dropped into water.

She sang without thinking, her lips too numb to form the words coherently. The melody c came out weak and pathetic. She hated that. But she could do nothing about it.

A light flashed across her eyes. She squinted, searching over the floating bodies. A boat drifted through, pushing bobbing corpses through the water. Figures stood upright like sentinels. A light glided through, like a passing sun.

With great effort, she heaved herself onto her side and turned to Sogou. Kagura tapped him, calling his name. His eyes were closed, frost gripping his eyelashes. The boat turned away from them.

“Sougo, there’s a boat,” she cried weakly. “Sougo.” She shook him a few times more but he still did not wake up.

And it dawned on her.

“Sougo,” she croaked, over and over again, until tears came to her eyes, dripping down and freezing against her cheeks. She looked up again. The boat was rowing away.

She dropped her head. She wanted to just lay there with him forever.

_...Win._

She lifted her head.

“Come back!” she whispered weakly, knowing they couldn’t hear her. “Come back! Come back!”

 _Is that the best you can do, China?_ She could almost hear him say. _Pathetic._

So she crawled into the water and paddled weakly over to the floating, half frozen corpse of an officer, each stroke more agonizing than the last. She finally reached him and grasped her fingers around his whistle. Then she brought it up to her chilled lips and _blew_. 


End file.
